Today, I woke up angry.
So inexplicably and overwhelmingly angry--in a tornado of rage, if you will--at the man that made me fall in love with him and is now gone, awaiting the birth of his future kid with his ex-girlfriend. He's supposed to be smart... How could he let something so stupid happen?
I know it's pointless to be angry and even more pointless to hate everything baby-related including babies themselves, so I've made myself not think about it if I can help it. But if you wake up in this manner, there's not much you can do about it. I did everything I could to distract myself from misery and enjoyed the autumn day with friends, but the anger and despair were just too potent. So while there was a smile on my face, I was dying on the inside from a painful migraine.
I never get migraines so I felt like a whiny little wimp, but I think it's finally starting to wane. Does that mean the rage is dissipating as well? Probably not. I haven't heard from him in over a week, not since he left my house after fucking me... Maybe he'll finally be forever gone now.