A potpourri of tangents



And another one bites the dust.

Armenian Barbie Botox needs to take a page out of baby sister Kloe a.k.a. Kween K's book on how to choose the right marriage partner in the glitz and glam of Hellwood. But maybe she wasn't looking for that; just someone new to exploit and make a crapload of money in the process.

While I never cared much for the more popular, butt-acious middle sister, I didn't particularly despise her either. I almost felt sorry for her because it seemed like she was followed all day, everyday by unwanted cameras and eyes. But how silly of me! She wants nothing more but all the cameras and all the eyes because they somehow bring her all the money. Who needs dignity, pride, or integrity when you got enough green to fill your head.

Onto the actual real world reality though. My life has been full of mini-dramas these days, so let's switch it up and use bullet format, yeah!

• Bachelor Uno and I had a good time on our first date and we've been e-mailing since then. He's cute, smart, nice, and totally relatable. We're supposed to go out and do something together tomorrow. If things continue and go well, we could actually be a good match.
• Bachelor Dos and I have been on three dates. Our correspondence started out with really deep and thoughtful e-mails, which resulted in him breaking ties with his then-current lady (who he'd been seeing for about a month so it was still casual and, according to him, rocky from the start) and asking me out. He's worldy and intelligent in his own way (meaning: without a higher education), is a great cook, and adores animals and cats in particular... But I'm not feeling "the feeling" with him and I don't see anything for us long term. We haven't talked about "us" or anything, but from his actions and words I can tell that he's totally digging me. I let him kiss me goodnight after he walked me to my car in the cold last night (just some harmless closed-mouth pecks), and while they were good kisses, I probably shouldn't allow it to go any further if I'm already feeling like it's not going to work. He sent me an e-mail this afternoon since my phone hasn't been working the past few days and said some of the sweetest things... I don't think a guy I've dated has ever said such sweet things to me.
• Rege slyly de-friended me off Facebook. What the fuck, right? What a passive aggressive dickhole! I really didn't see any reason for him to actively do that. We hadn't talked in weeks and I only stalk his profile from a secret distance like any normal person--Never have I commented publicly on anything related to him. My friend thinks that his girlfriend found out about me, but I really don't see that. I think his ego was feeling extra big that day and he thought that I wouldn't be able to handle him changing his dusty old profile picture to a fresh one of him and his blonde babe in Halloween gear. If he were all that smart or sensitive, maybe he should've thought of doing this before pictures of the happy couple had been posted frequently enough for me to feel thoroughly entertained with judgement for months! I admit that I had a mild panic attack so I sent a friendly (albeit inwardly laced with rat poison) text the day I discovered this, and he had no problem what-so-ever texting me throughout the day and night. He seems to want to meet up again and I might follow through, if only to confront him about his socially very rude and unnecessary behavior.
• I know I owe you the juicy bits of my last encounter with Dr. Shark, but as you can see, it's been quite a busy week! Haven't talked to him since then though. The naive girl-child in me wants to believe that he's tried to text while my phone has been out of commission and might be curious/pissed/even concerned that he hasn't heard back from me, but in reality, he probably hasn't even tried to contact me therefore hasn't noticed my absence. Sigh.

Well. I'd decided to bullet my stories in order to make this post as short and sweet as possible, but it looks like I've lost that battle! Hopefully it's accomplished satisfying anyone's twisted curiosity into my twisted little life for now.

Orange is the new pink.

Happy first day of Fall!

Despite my body's aversion to any temperature lower than 90 degrees Fahrenheit since my climate of choice the past couple of weeks was tropical, we're officially on our way to my favorite time of the year. And even though today's high in my fair Southern city was still in the 80s and the air was sticky from summer humidity, the morning was cool and breezy and orange is starting to sprinkle the trees.

It's a time for drinking apple cider, darning cute scarves and booties, and driving with the windows down blaring Simon and Garfunkel. I want to frolic in a pumpkin patch (preferably with a lover), throw fallen leaves at them, and kiss in the setting sun that only seems to be that perfect deep orangey-red that it turns during this rotation of the planet.

Ideal and silly, yes. But autumn just sparks a new spirit in me that seems to die down a little by the summer time (it's no wonder with how crazy hot and miserable it gets here!). For me, Autumn is my Spring: It's a time to start fresh and wake up from some kind of dormancy or hibernation.

Your band-aid to Life.

I'm a bit of an amateur foodie (meaning: I love to eat and cook anything and everything) so I'm very much looking forward to the comfort of soups. Is there anything better than diving into and soothing your senses with the perfect bowl of rich, warm soup? All your woes and aches, both body and soul, seem to wash away with every spoonful.

Not to say those troubles won't find their way back to you once you've heartbreakingly scraped the bottom of the bowl... But at least for those glorious few minutes you can feel at peace and at home.

Maybe I'll use this time to really reflect on what I need and want out of life. My friends and family are always asking me what my plans are or where I'll be in the future, but I can never whole-heartedly give them an answer. I brush them off with a "Psh, planning is stupid. Planning is for tight-asses." But life is short... Too short to be too impulsive or lazy. We all deserve to be a little selfish.